Why do we women do this? It’s because it’s a rather potent tool. When you evoke jealousy, what is universal is that you are in a state of insecurity. You need to test him as a man, his affection and the way he expresses it. If you attempt to ignite jealousy and your attempts are fruitless despite resorting to the extremity of your tolerance, then — unless the extremity of your tolerance is incredibly low — that tells you either one of two things. He either is completely under your thumb (complicated by the possibility of harbouring homoerotic desires of his own) or he truly does not care about you. In either case, it is a lost investment and he is not The Right Guy, in which case it is best to simply move on if that’s an option. The optimum situation is that you avoid being in a relationship where this happens in the first place.
1. Introduction
2. Dating Classifieds
The reaction a woman seems to be aiming for is the recurring fantasy around igniting jealousy in a man. It is meant to provoke his possessive instincts. It is meant to see if he is secure and confident about you but on the other hand, not unduly trusting. That is, claim you but only as a reminder rather than feeling genuinely threatened. It is meant to be a way of reminding him not to be totally complacent; you are desirable and aware of it. It is meant to see if he can still have influence over you or control you. He is meant to take you out of the room, metaphorical or literal, call you out on your bad behaviour and reassert that you are his.
3. Online Dating
The recurring sexual fantasy — which I’ve found evidence for in female-targeted fiction — is around igniting jealousy in a man is giving him an excuse if not provoking him to be sexually rough and dominant with you. It is giving him an excuse to have no illusions about you and act accordingly. Now in regards to the actual practicalities of igniting jealousy in a male. First of all, use this with extreme caution if at all. Analyse carefully what the urge to do this is telling you: are you feeling insecure or disloyal? Are you somehow losing interest in your man and why? Has his behaviour changed? What other strategies could you use? Should you be busy giving him support through a hard time or fixing an inadequacy that has caused him to become colder to you? Do you feel the urge to do this to him in order to hurt him?
4. Personals
Second of all, don’t actually do anything with anyone, most emphatically don’t do anything he’s made clear implicitly or explicitly that you’re not supposed to do. Don’t be a slut. The more important trigger is evidence of how you’re feeling: how interested you look or say you are when speaking about the jealousy-evoking male. Simply speak of the chosen jealousy-inducing eligible, single male enthusiastically with admiration or respect (depending, you may not even have to convey lust). Indeed, you may just be doing this unconsciously anyway as part of everyday conversation. You will get a lot of information from this: how soon he reacts tells you how threatened he is, how late tells you how secure he is or how much attention he’s in fact giving you.
4. Single Women
There should be a base level of cause for jealousy anyway. The credit goes to aoefe for saying this: it is a good rule to never leave your house without looking your best. I would also suggest it is also a good rule to never leave your house without making the decision to project the sparkling, positive sides of your personality. It is a good rule to inspire envy that you’re with him. You should be getting interest in you and you should be telling him about these incidents, honestly including what you feel about them.
5. Final Words
One particular case I’ve been told of regarding jealousy and the use of it comes to mind. An Arab husband is suspected by his wife to be having an affair with his secretary, or contemplating it. This is combined with an accompanying neglect of her and the children. How does she deal with this? Now this woman in question had a beta admirer who’d shown a great deal of interest in her. Instead of showering him with contempt (as betas who go after married women deserve to be showered with), she ruthlessly exploits this and pretends interest in the beta. This has the convenient side effect of gaining independence from her husband. She’s more interested in mysterious phone calls and attending to her beauty than nagging her husband or attending to him either. This beta is a work colleague. The straw that breaks the camel’s back is informing her husband that she is going on a business trip with this fellow all the way in a car to another country. Her husband surprises them both at the last second by informing them he’s going to come along. He’s paying her and the children a little more attention all of a sudden. He fires the secretary within weeks.